Announcing Kanata's Paradise Lost - World's First World Heritage Subdivision

The following is a fable, but like all fables it contains hidden (and not so hidden) truths.

Yes, for the first, and undoubtedly last time in the world, you can own a house on a World Heritage Site. Only in Ottawa, the world's "Developers Rule Capital" ©Development Ottawa Promotion Establishment (DOPE), could this be possible.

Killing Nature Limited (KNL) , in conjunction with UrbanDesolation Inc. and RichCrap Homes announces the construction of the first stage of houses in it's new Paradise Lost World Heritage Subdivision.

Located on the site of what used to be known as the Beaver Pond Woods this subdivision represents the new wave of natural destruction in urban development. Whether your home is on Blasted to Bits Drive, ClearCut Avenue, Extinction Way or Sacred Land Road you can be assured of the same quality Ticky Tacky that our homes are renowned for.

As an added feature each home comes with a Grand Forest Room that has, in place of a picture window, a forest mural. This feature is ideal for educating your children in the wilderness features that were once where your house stood. You can teach your children the names of all the plants, animals and endangered species that were sacrificed to build your home.

Each home comes with it's own Certificate of Destruction listing all the natural features and wildlife that were destroyed so you could have your own home where splendour and wonder once stood. You will also receive your own piece of the forest, a bag of wood chips from the trees that once stood here, to use in your garden.

For a limited time those visiting our sales offices on Walden Pond Dies Drive will be able to try some of our Forest Stew - there is nothing like stewed porcupine after it has been shaken out of it's tree and frozen to death - it's like Ice Wine, a real delicacy.

Most people do nothing about the wasted and undeveloped wilderness that covers much of our county. By buying a home in Paradise Lost you can help to reduce that waste and advance progress.

Remember by buying a home in Paradise Lost you pave the way for the destruction of even more forest and wildlife in what has come to be known as Our Community's Great Forest and World Heritage Site.

Once Upon A Time In Teronia

The following is a fable, but like all fables it contains hidden (and not so hidden) truths.

Once upon a time in a land called Teronia there was a village surrounded by pristine environmental lands. The villagers cherished these lands and the village elders declared that they would be protected for all time.

Then they were visited by representatives of the Guild of Developers who told the villagers that if they were allowed to "develop" their precious environmental lands everyone would benefit. But the villagers knew better and said "never never".

So the Guild told the village elders that they would go to The Lords of Omb who would give them permission. The elders said "do you really think they would do that" and the Guild said "they always do" and the elders gave each other knowing looks and just shook their heads.

Then the Guild said to the villagers, and the elders, that they would promise to keep half of the lands as "greenspace" if they would not oppose their plans. A group of the villagers, known as "the radicals", said "you cannot trust the Guild" but the elders said "but we have no choice".

So the Guild built roads and houses and a place for a new sport called "golf" where gentlemen would hit small rocks with sticks and chase after them in chariots. They removed the trees and plants and wildlife and planted a single type of grass that the rocks rolled easily on and they spread chemicals on it to help it grow and poisons on it to stop other things from growing and called it "greenspace".

When the villagers saw the final plan they saw that their precious environmental lands were to be destroyed - the half of the lands that was to be "greenspace", that they thought would protect their precious lands, was nothing but a "golf course" and narrow corridors with unnatural man made pathways instead of the rugged trails that were there. They knew that they had been deceived.

The local elder said "a deal is a deal and we lost and now it is time for us to change sides and support whatever the Guild wants", but the radicals said "No - it is never to late to do what is right".

So how will this fable end. That will be up to the villagers.