Announcing Kanata's Paradise Lost - World's First World Heritage Subdivision

The following is a fable, but like all fables it contains hidden (and not so hidden) truths.

Yes, for the first, and undoubtedly last time in the world, you can own a house on a World Heritage Site. Only in Ottawa, the world's "Developers Rule Capital" ©Development Ottawa Promotion Establishment (DOPE), could this be possible.

Killing Nature Limited (KNL) , in conjunction with UrbanDesolation Inc. and RichCrap Homes announces the construction of the first stage of houses in it's new Paradise Lost World Heritage Subdivision.

Located on the site of what used to be known as the Beaver Pond Woods this subdivision represents the new wave of natural destruction in urban development. Whether your home is on Blasted to Bits Drive, ClearCut Avenue, Extinction Way or Sacred Land Road you can be assured of the same quality Ticky Tacky that our homes are renowned for.

As an added feature each home comes with a Grand Forest Room that has, in place of a picture window, a forest mural. This feature is ideal for educating your children in the wilderness features that were once where your house stood. You can teach your children the names of all the plants, animals and endangered species that were sacrificed to build your home.

Each home comes with it's own Certificate of Destruction listing all the natural features and wildlife that were destroyed so you could have your own home where splendour and wonder once stood. You will also receive your own piece of the forest, a bag of wood chips from the trees that once stood here, to use in your garden.

For a limited time those visiting our sales offices on Walden Pond Dies Drive will be able to try some of our Forest Stew - there is nothing like stewed porcupine after it has been shaken out of it's tree and frozen to death - it's like Ice Wine, a real delicacy.

Most people do nothing about the wasted and undeveloped wilderness that covers much of our county. By buying a home in Paradise Lost you can help to reduce that waste and advance progress.

Remember by buying a home in Paradise Lost you pave the way for the destruction of even more forest and wildlife in what has come to be known as Our Community's Great Forest and World Heritage Site.

108 Kilometres and 5 Pounds Later (Ottawa River Pathways Hybrid Epic Ride)

Well it has actually been a few years since I have done an Epic (Over 100 kilometre) Hybrid Ride and I have been wanting to find out just how long a ride encompassing both the western and eastern Ottawa River pathways would be, having rode both separately.

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One of the things keeping me from doing this sooner was the lack of proper connectiveness between the two sections, which I have written about previously.

East and West: Two Solitudes - The Problems With The Ottawa River Pathway

The Ottawa River Pathway Two Solitudes: PostScript

Starting in Bridlewood I took the Trans-Canada Trail through the Greenbelt joining the Ottawa River pathway at the Andy Haydon water park. The western pathway route is an enjoyable ride along the Ottawa River on paved pathways with the opportunity for pit stops to eat and drink at Britannia and Westboro beaches.

The connection to the eastern section was not as bad as I expected. After the killer hill up the cliff by the locks you just take Murray Street to Sussex Drive and continue to the Rockcliffe Parkway and onto the eastern pathways. So I was fine, but anyone who is intimidated by riding on major heavy traffic roadways could be intimidated and even a bit frightened, and our pathway system should not force cyclists into those situations.

Once I reached the Rockcliffe Parkway I was back onto paved pathways leading to the pathways along the river.

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For the ride east I took the paved upper pathway along the Rockcliffe Parkway that goes past the Aviation Museum and then rejoins the path along the River.

Once you hit Orleans you follow the streets a bit past the Résidence Saint-Louis following the bike route signs and then take the Petrie Island Pathway that ends at Trim Road, but you can continue down Trim Road to the island. Most of the Petrie Island pathway is brand new pavement except for the last portion that is gravel. The pathway goes past a number of what appear to be mountain bike trails crossing over it, that I have yet to check out.

On the way back I kept to the pathway closest to the river, which is primarily a hard-packed gravel surface. Both pathways are enjoyable and scenic.

Casual cyclists should be aware that after you leave the river pathway, the path along the Rockcliffe parkway goes along a cliff and narrows for a portion and that can be a bit concerning but really is no great problem.

Getting from Sussex Drive back to the western pathway was another matter. I should have done better advance planning for the trip back and I ended up darting across the road where St. Patrick joins Murray Street during a break in traffic to get back to the path down the cliff. A better route would have been to continue along Sussex Drive to the other side of Murray Street and then walk the bike along the sidewalk to the path down the cliff.

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The biggest concern of the ride was the heat and probably a sign that I picked the wrong day for an Epic Ride. I have done long rides (60-70 km) on hot days and I have done over 100 km rides before but combing both was probably a bad idea and after the 90 km mark I was starting to feel the effects of heat exhaustion, but I managed to make it home without collapsing.

One of the problems of the pathway system (besides the lack of washroom facilities, particularly in the early and late season) is the shortage of drinking water facilities. There are very few water fountains on the route and the few that are there require you to almost swallow the fixture to get a drink, making it impossible to use them to refill a water bottle.

I was able to buy water from a vending machine at the Rockcliffe Yacht Club though. The multitude of Private Property and Members Only signs kept me from even thinking about asking them to refill my water bottle with tap water, I felt fortunate that they let me use their vending machine.

But all being said it was a great experience and I would do it again on a cooler day.

Overall stats:

Total Distance: 108 km
Time Moving: 5 Hrs, 40 Min
Average Speed 19 km/hr
Maximum Speed 36.3 km/hr

Weight Lost During Trip: 5 pounds (but I regained about 3 pounds by next morning after rehydrating, etc.)